Sad songs for dirty lovers
by Macaron97
Summary: There's an albatross around your neck. Let it go. Sherlock/OC. May be triggering.


p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"The blade touched the flesh, causing a cut on the wrist. Elizabeth sighed, feeling the drops of blood wetting her, there was pain, then nothing. It could sound strange, but if at that precise moment they asked what she felt, she would have answered nothing. The absolute nothing. And nothing was more painful than the other feelings that you could feel./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"She opened the small notebook she used as a diary since her therapist had advised her./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"01/07/2013/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"I think my heart is failing, it hurts so much. A pain that on a good day is a stab in the chest and in the bad days takes away any desire to live. Give me a drug. Give me a damn drug./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"09/01/2013/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"Has no-one told him I'm not breathing?/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"01/12/2013/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"Come back, come back before "I love you" becomes just a lie./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"She smiled, a bitter smile, one of those smiles that fill your mouth when you have no longer the desire to react. Or to cry. Or to die./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"She smiled and thought of him as, on the other hand, did every second of every minute of every hour of every day./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"15/01/2013/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"I could tell you that I'm giving up on everything, I am no longer fighting. I could tell that my mom has aged so much that the other day I had a hard time recognizing her. I could tell you that your sister is trying to carry on, but I see her, I see that every time she thinks that nobody is watching she lets out a weary sigh or a tear./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"I could tell you that now I'm locked in the bathroom, trying to figure out if I'm still alive, but will not tell you this. I will not say all of this and you know why? Because it is not what you'd like to hear./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"They're all good./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"21/01/2013/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"If tomorrow morning I won't wake up do not be afraid. I fought./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"09/01/2013/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"Why should I eat if you're not here?/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"09/02/2013/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"Tomorrow they'll send me to a clinic. Finally someone will see my suffering./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"Elizabeth Hilton-Scott was a little girl, one of those so cheerful that if you meet them on the street you turn around to look at them, one of those whose smile opens your heart./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"And this is how everyone wants to remember her./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"Elizabeth then has grown to become a young girl, maybe too early, maybe too late. The smile was the same as many years ago. She continued to smile, perhaps not to forget how to do it./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"Elizabeth is a girl now, perhaps too strong, perhaps too weak. At night she wakes up, sometimes screaming, sometimes panting, but be sure that in the morning will be the same as always. Unfazed, unfriendly, edgy Elizabeth. She does not have many friends, most are the result of his boundless imagination. Imaginary friends, imaginary fathers, imaginary life./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"And then there was Him, her everything./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"They moved like dancers, those two. He laughed, she laughed. He breathed, she breathed. Then there was that misstep: He dies, she survives./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"Elizabeth loves to watch people from behind a glass case, as if they were scientific experiments, as if they were animals. She does not touch them, does not interfere with their lives: she just watches them. Essentially, she classifies them into two categories: those who stay and those who leave. Then there's her, the one who keeps running, perhaps because she doesn't dare to stop and think, maybe because if she does shed does not know how to restart./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"span style="font-size: 9pt;"Her heart bleeds, but no one knows why all that blood comes out from her wrists. She has the fire inside, but no one knows why that fire has burned the skin. It's like if He had brought away with him small parts of her, parts so small that she had even noticed they where gone. Disappeared. She doesn't sleep anymore, she doesn't write anymore, she doesn't live anymore and she hadn't even noticed./span/p 


End file.
